Loveletter to my blood

I’m the blood half of the blood and bone community i created with my dear friend, tossie. she’s the bone because she rattles people’s bones with the vibration of her voice. i’m the blood because of my relationship to bleeding every month. i chose to nurture this aspect of my wellness because most of my life it was seen as an inconvenience and a burden. but i realized later that this blood is sacred. and i wanted to honor and heal my relationship to it.

so now, you are working me blood. as my body and chemistry has changed, you’ve sent me itno bouts of pain in my chest for weeks at a time. and now i’ve been in the hospital twice with tubes sticking out of my chest. what is it that you are asking me to do to care for you the way you need to sustain me through the next phases of my life?

for today, as we discussed in blood and bone, when i feel anger, i will call in love.

I will sacrifice sugar and caffeine (coffee in particular)—i know you have been calling me to put these down for at least ten years, and i have been stubborn.

i will slow down and walk in nature more. i will breathe, deliberately as many times during the day as i can.

you are calling me to simplify in an environment that has become so complex, so cluttered, so heavy. i am not allowed to lift more than 5 pounds, according to the doctor. how do you want me to interpret that? what lifts can i avoid doing today?

as i was watching my kids run yesterday, i contemplated that you want me to stop running for a bit. to walk instead. this one is a tough one, but you’re not giving me a choice. you know how much i love to run. but i am hearing you. running is like trying to put fire out with fire. nurture, restore. slow. at least for this season. then i hope you will let me return to it again once you’ve restored your strength.

i’m so thankful for you and for this opportunity to adjust and listen to you. let’s work together.